Is it normal to miss your booty call?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
