She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
