Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
