I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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