imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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