took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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