Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
