He kissed a someone with a penis
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
