Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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