i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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