you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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