I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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