Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize