I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
