that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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