Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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