she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
