well you can't waste a boner
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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