Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
