words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
