tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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