I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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