i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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