we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Can I color on your dick again?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
