have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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