She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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