Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
