I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
