she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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