i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
