$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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