How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
