i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
