yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
