i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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