i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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