i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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