i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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