this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
