I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
