ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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