You really coming over, don't trick.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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