She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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