quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
they're like a gay fantastic four
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
