In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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