Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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