So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I have post one night stand depression
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