In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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