Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I supernannyed him into submission
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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