i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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