Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
