Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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