I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize