Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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