He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
