I cannot find my penis.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
