I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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