I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
