My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
