It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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