Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
