omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize