she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
