so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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