very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he puts the penis in happiness.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
