Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
