he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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