Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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