You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
