Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
