oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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