Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
