im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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