carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
