My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
